I can tell the Tumblr community more than I can tell my own. I have a really amazing job opportunity. The interview is this Wednesday and it’s with a company that, if I get the position, can carry my career out of college and into my degree, AND take Jay and I back home (Pittsburgh). I’m really hopeful and I’d love any prayers that you guys can send our way.
I was sitting up last night thinking about this whole “getting better” thing. I never realized that I cannot see myself being older. Really having a job that is permanent, being able to be pregnant and be a mother. I don’t see me being 40. Graduating. I just don’t see it. I can’t imagine it in my head. I am 27 years old and I’ve never really been anything in my life. I’ve just been going back and forth from sick to healthy. I’ve never been alive. At all. I can’t see myself ever actually being alive. I can’t see myself having a real job, being a mom, doing anything. I can’t see myself being 40. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.
This has been the hardest three days of my life. I just need everything to at least start showing that silver lining.
Do you pray? If you do, will you pray for me?